[reblog] The Empathy Conundrum

I have printed out the end of Musings of an Aspie’s post to put in my Christmas card to my brother. This blog articulates exactly what I feel.

Particularly:

“Empathy has many definitions, but they all have at their core understanding the emotional state of another person.

When I say I lack empathy, what I mean is I have a deficit in understanding the emotional states of others. Hell, I have a deficit in understanding my own emotional state at times.

[It means] that I may need more information than a typical person to understand a social situation. That my reactions to your emotions may be unconventional. That I have to work harder to grasp what comes naturally to most people.”

This post strikes a chord with me because it explains why I am told that I appear ‘cold’ when inside I am feeling too much.

Musings of an Aspie

Let’s get the hard part out there first: I lack empathy.

By lack, I don’t mean a complete absence of empathy; I have an empathy deficiency.  If most adults are “doing empathy” at the calculus level, I’m still in Algebra II and solving for X in ways that would make your head spin.

Before I discovered the online autism community, I assumed that my impaired empathy was typical for someone with Asperger’s. Much of the published literature includes impaired empathy as a common AS trait. “Lack of social or emotional reciprocity” is one of the diagnostic criteria. My own experience didn’t disprove that.

Then I discovered the online ASD community and suddenly felt like I needed to hide my struggles with empathy. Everywhere I looked people were refuting the notion that autistics lack empathy.

Again and again I’ve encountered discussions about empathy online and quietly slunk away, feeling like there…

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[reblog] Adults share how recognizing autism changed their lives

Very inspirational – or, as I like to say – ‘aspierational’ 😉

Just bought Samantha Craft’s book, Everyday Aspergers. 150 journal entries, 10 years in the making! The excerpts via her Twitter (@aspergersgirls) are so relatable! Buy it via Amazon

Everyday Aspie

Screen Shot 2016-05-20 at 11.27.33 AMYesterday, I asked community members at @Everyday Aspergers, “How has finding out you are or might be on the autism spectrum changed your life in a beneficial way?” And these were the responses.

Having ASD has enriched my life in many ways. ~ Kasey

I am an adult autistic diagnosis. The joy and excitement to discover and to tell my sisters: “See . . . I told you there was something wrong.” I have been able to have a reason for the bullying, emotional abuse and deliberate isolation. I have found a like-minded posse that first welcomed me, accepted me and support, advise and help me. I have finally achieved acceptance of myself and am trying to achieve heart mind centeredness. Something I thought was unachievable: loving myself. ~ John

Before I knew I was Autistic, I spent my whole life trying to fit in and do things that went against…

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